I wrote these words, but not to you
As they are writ, u can read them too
I spent the time to ensure that they are true
As they would otherwise have no value
I walked across the sands of time
With a thirst that parched these thoughts of mine
I then reached mountains that I had to climb
To reach a state that was sublime
I looked behind me and saw the past
I looked not long as it would not last
I looked beside me and passing fast
Was the present time, with no shadow cast
I looked before me where time stood still
Where the days held an unknown thrill
This uncertain feeling gave me a certain chill
Which no comforting words would comfort instill
Yet I darted forward in search of joy
Knowing the future, would the past destroy
Knowing the tactics that I had to employ
Knowing my actions could not be of a boy
Yes, In all of this there is no mention of you
As I was doing only what I had to do
There was no white rabbit to in distraction pursue
And no thought of me being one of us two
As you know for certain this lasted not long
As the sirens sounded of your Siren's song
The call of your voice had pulled my ears strong
That my body, without choice, had come along
From the sands of the desert, across mountains to shore
From who I was and was heading, your song, it me tore
For a moment of silence, I did you implore
So that I, myself, could me restore
I, in not knowing, how much time had gone by
Seeing the time past, I had to deny
That your comforting song was in fact a lie
And your healing words left me broken inside
I thought of my days when whipped by sand
And my undying thirst was land locked by land
And now I know I can barely stand
The gentile caress of your jagged worn hand
I want not to dwell on how long was I here
Whether a day or whether a year
Regardless of length, 'twas too long my dear
When I was near u, I was not here
Copyright Justin Gerges 2013
Friday, December 28, 2012
How can a man search for these.
What if the sunset in a place that you could never go
Is more beautiful than any one you've ever seen before
Would you know what it is that you've longed for
And if it's something that does exist for sure
What if that's how I live every day
Imagining the words that i would say
And would those words even be okay
To describe that scene that I'd seen that day
And what if it doesn't really exist
Is it something that would really be missed
And would some search for it and insist
That all nay sayers cease and desist
And how is this different from things like love
And things that are higher and better and above
And the feeling that exists, well just because
It can't be explained, you see, it just does
And how can a man search for these
From flower to flower for pollen as bees?
With his stinger primed while flying through trees
Ready for defense if ever he needs?
Is this as one whose search is pure
Or is it as one who is off to war
And is there a difference at all, for sure?
Can it be remedied, and is there a cure?
The irony is that we searched for this disease
While picking flowers and climbing through trees
And doing it all with the slightest of ease
For that chance that this one we would please
But we lost sight of this one little thing
We are given the capacity for only one sting
And up to this point, we hum and we sing
Until we are dethroned by this sense of longing
But the question in this is as it remains
Is the chance of good better than the current pains
And if we arrive bloodied with stains
Could we by this journey really be changed?
Could this stinger be returned to its sheath
And we be revealed for what lies beneath
And what if this is a form of retreat
Would the end of this journey not be just as sweet?
The problem is that we don't know what we long for
We know that we long for something for sure
And this sun could beautifully set on shore
It will surely rise in the morning once more
The point of this all is that I believe
It must exist in the way I perceive
Not in a way that does deceive
But in a way that does truly lead
And it is some thing does direct us to
Something that is just as real and as true
Something that exists, just as me and as you
And every day feels exciting and new
So come with me along this new path
And empty your heart of malice and wrath
And smile always, fill my ears with your laugh
And charge with me forward and never look back.
Copyright Justin Gerges 2013
Is more beautiful than any one you've ever seen before
Would you know what it is that you've longed for
And if it's something that does exist for sure
What if that's how I live every day
Imagining the words that i would say
And would those words even be okay
To describe that scene that I'd seen that day
And what if it doesn't really exist
Is it something that would really be missed
And would some search for it and insist
That all nay sayers cease and desist
And how is this different from things like love
And things that are higher and better and above
And the feeling that exists, well just because
It can't be explained, you see, it just does
And how can a man search for these
From flower to flower for pollen as bees?
With his stinger primed while flying through trees
Ready for defense if ever he needs?
Is this as one whose search is pure
Or is it as one who is off to war
And is there a difference at all, for sure?
Can it be remedied, and is there a cure?
The irony is that we searched for this disease
While picking flowers and climbing through trees
And doing it all with the slightest of ease
For that chance that this one we would please
But we lost sight of this one little thing
We are given the capacity for only one sting
And up to this point, we hum and we sing
Until we are dethroned by this sense of longing
But the question in this is as it remains
Is the chance of good better than the current pains
And if we arrive bloodied with stains
Could we by this journey really be changed?
Could this stinger be returned to its sheath
And we be revealed for what lies beneath
And what if this is a form of retreat
Would the end of this journey not be just as sweet?
The problem is that we don't know what we long for
We know that we long for something for sure
And this sun could beautifully set on shore
It will surely rise in the morning once more
The point of this all is that I believe
It must exist in the way I perceive
Not in a way that does deceive
But in a way that does truly lead
And it is some thing does direct us to
Something that is just as real and as true
Something that exists, just as me and as you
And every day feels exciting and new
So come with me along this new path
And empty your heart of malice and wrath
And smile always, fill my ears with your laugh
And charge with me forward and never look back.
Copyright Justin Gerges 2013
Train of thought.
I followed that train of thought and stopped along side of it at every station.
I was swayed and rattled along, but I held on for what I knew was going to be a bumpy ride.
I kept looking over my shoulder to check the signs to see if I could tell where i was, but this ride was to a place I had not been before.
While I was there, I was overwhelmed by the distance. I was astounded by the space that separated us and the number of people that were able to come between us.
While their words sounded over my thoughts, they did not reach to where I stood.
Nothing could reach me in that seclusion created, that expansive distance.
Remarkably, there was a coolness to the gaze in your eyes.
I could not tell if you looked at me, through me, or beyond me, but I hoped that is where your thoughts had lain, on me.
I know the color of your eyes, but I stared at them so long that I no longer saw it. I thought of all the things that our eyes had seen together and I wondered if you had seen them the same as I. The doors opened and there was a rapid exchange, those coming and those going... And while the world was in motion, my world stood still as my eyes were fixed on you.
Your silence now was all I could hear, the tracks, whistles, conversations all faded from a roar to a dull hum and then to nothing. They knew my ears wanted nothing from them so they went on their way elsewhere. They all found rest in others ears while I waited and listened hoping that between your breaths would be words's utterance.
I blinked, and it felt like an eternity. And for that reason I seldom blinked. Some call what I feel love, but it is so much more than that. In that moment where my eyes were closed, I feared that I would never see you again. I felt that that one person, who is the purpose for my existence, ceased to exist, and for that moment, I ceased to exist too...
I took comfort in hearing your breath though. The train stopped again and with it I leaned forward, not by my choice, but by its force. It tried to shake me free of you as to awaken me from this trance as many others have before. Not man or machine could do this. I knew that only God could if he would reach His hand to jar me. The doors closed and came together again and a news paper page that had taken flight in the shuffle now landed in a place where it seemed to feel it belonged.
It too neared you but stopped at a place where the eyes on its face of the page we're directed at you. I laughed in my head because for a moment I felt jealous. I did not want to share you with anyone's eyes, animate or not. I then laughed again at the mildly insane thought that I just had. I would never have questioned my sanity before, but I was not sure what I was capable of doing feeling the way I felt.
I reached my foot out and stomped on the news paper so that the face could no longer stare at you. I then wondered if I would be so compelled as to do this to other faces, but not those printed. It scared me; this dark thought of mine. The train then went dark and I heard your breaths deepen. I stopped breathing half to allow for it, and half to give myself a moment to figure it out.
The light came back and I breathed again cause I saw you were still there. It went again, this time it was expected and welcomed. We were going through a sequence of tunnels. Every time the lights went I stopped breathing and it was soothing. It was one way to slow down the racing of my mind. It was surely a way to slow down the racing of my heart. The anticipation of whether I was going to see you again was still as piercing each time, but I knew that at the very least, your existence would not be ended by one of my blinks.
It almost made me comfortable with the potential of you not being there. And as soon as that thought came to my mind, the tunnels ended and seeing you again in light made me wonder what madness came over me in having ever accepted the notion of an existence where you weren't. I heard your breath return to normal again and I inhaled allowing myself to breath again despite my thoughts.
Behind you, for a moment, I caught a glimpse of a large tree that stood alone in the middle of a field. A white bird flew towards it as thought it was returning home or to a place of comfort that it knew well. As we, not just you and I, but everyone, passed that place of comfort, I longed for that feeling of freedom that this bird had. Its eyes too were fixed. It's purpose true. It's arms out stretched. The sun warmed it's back and everything was simple. There was no night. There was no winter. There was only day. That moment was frozen in my mind.
I wondered why I had returned to this train. This cage of steel, glass, and plastics. Why does anyone trade eternal summer for winter? And as for seasons, we known they proceed one another in a fashion that over ones life is dizzying. Could it stay spring forever? Could it last like that moment, frozen forever in time? And what if the bird reached the tree? Would he no longer long for it, strive for it
with arms out stretched, find solace in its presence and comfort in its shade?
At that moment I feel the train turn slightly and the window behind you was filled with light, in a way that gave me a chill. I would have said you were glowing, but that would be downplaying your radiance. For a moment I felt like that bird again. And you were that tree.
You looked up at me at that point and time stopped again. You put your book down and smiled. I felt a warmth come across me that could have thawed a thousand winters. I was glad that you were only separated from me by words on a page. I smiled back and stretched out my arms, bathed in your radiance. For that moment I was free knowing I was heading in again to my solace to a place which was where I belonged.
Copyright Justin Gerges 2013
I was swayed and rattled along, but I held on for what I knew was going to be a bumpy ride.
I kept looking over my shoulder to check the signs to see if I could tell where i was, but this ride was to a place I had not been before.
While I was there, I was overwhelmed by the distance. I was astounded by the space that separated us and the number of people that were able to come between us.
While their words sounded over my thoughts, they did not reach to where I stood.
Nothing could reach me in that seclusion created, that expansive distance.
Remarkably, there was a coolness to the gaze in your eyes.
I could not tell if you looked at me, through me, or beyond me, but I hoped that is where your thoughts had lain, on me.
I know the color of your eyes, but I stared at them so long that I no longer saw it. I thought of all the things that our eyes had seen together and I wondered if you had seen them the same as I. The doors opened and there was a rapid exchange, those coming and those going... And while the world was in motion, my world stood still as my eyes were fixed on you.
Your silence now was all I could hear, the tracks, whistles, conversations all faded from a roar to a dull hum and then to nothing. They knew my ears wanted nothing from them so they went on their way elsewhere. They all found rest in others ears while I waited and listened hoping that between your breaths would be words's utterance.
I blinked, and it felt like an eternity. And for that reason I seldom blinked. Some call what I feel love, but it is so much more than that. In that moment where my eyes were closed, I feared that I would never see you again. I felt that that one person, who is the purpose for my existence, ceased to exist, and for that moment, I ceased to exist too...
I took comfort in hearing your breath though. The train stopped again and with it I leaned forward, not by my choice, but by its force. It tried to shake me free of you as to awaken me from this trance as many others have before. Not man or machine could do this. I knew that only God could if he would reach His hand to jar me. The doors closed and came together again and a news paper page that had taken flight in the shuffle now landed in a place where it seemed to feel it belonged.
It too neared you but stopped at a place where the eyes on its face of the page we're directed at you. I laughed in my head because for a moment I felt jealous. I did not want to share you with anyone's eyes, animate or not. I then laughed again at the mildly insane thought that I just had. I would never have questioned my sanity before, but I was not sure what I was capable of doing feeling the way I felt.
I reached my foot out and stomped on the news paper so that the face could no longer stare at you. I then wondered if I would be so compelled as to do this to other faces, but not those printed. It scared me; this dark thought of mine. The train then went dark and I heard your breaths deepen. I stopped breathing half to allow for it, and half to give myself a moment to figure it out.
The light came back and I breathed again cause I saw you were still there. It went again, this time it was expected and welcomed. We were going through a sequence of tunnels. Every time the lights went I stopped breathing and it was soothing. It was one way to slow down the racing of my mind. It was surely a way to slow down the racing of my heart. The anticipation of whether I was going to see you again was still as piercing each time, but I knew that at the very least, your existence would not be ended by one of my blinks.
It almost made me comfortable with the potential of you not being there. And as soon as that thought came to my mind, the tunnels ended and seeing you again in light made me wonder what madness came over me in having ever accepted the notion of an existence where you weren't. I heard your breath return to normal again and I inhaled allowing myself to breath again despite my thoughts.
Behind you, for a moment, I caught a glimpse of a large tree that stood alone in the middle of a field. A white bird flew towards it as thought it was returning home or to a place of comfort that it knew well. As we, not just you and I, but everyone, passed that place of comfort, I longed for that feeling of freedom that this bird had. Its eyes too were fixed. It's purpose true. It's arms out stretched. The sun warmed it's back and everything was simple. There was no night. There was no winter. There was only day. That moment was frozen in my mind.
I wondered why I had returned to this train. This cage of steel, glass, and plastics. Why does anyone trade eternal summer for winter? And as for seasons, we known they proceed one another in a fashion that over ones life is dizzying. Could it stay spring forever? Could it last like that moment, frozen forever in time? And what if the bird reached the tree? Would he no longer long for it, strive for it
with arms out stretched, find solace in its presence and comfort in its shade?
At that moment I feel the train turn slightly and the window behind you was filled with light, in a way that gave me a chill. I would have said you were glowing, but that would be downplaying your radiance. For a moment I felt like that bird again. And you were that tree.
You looked up at me at that point and time stopped again. You put your book down and smiled. I felt a warmth come across me that could have thawed a thousand winters. I was glad that you were only separated from me by words on a page. I smiled back and stretched out my arms, bathed in your radiance. For that moment I was free knowing I was heading in again to my solace to a place which was where I belonged.
Copyright Justin Gerges 2013
The lines are strait and their form is true
Directing us to things we only thought we knew
The road is straight and the path is high
Requiring of us everything we have inside
But it's not new, this inner test of strength
What's new is the duration of it, and length
We have overcome in this way many times before
And that we will overcome again, we are sure.
Copyright Justin Gerges 2013
Directing us to things we only thought we knew
The road is straight and the path is high
Requiring of us everything we have inside
But it's not new, this inner test of strength
What's new is the duration of it, and length
We have overcome in this way many times before
And that we will overcome again, we are sure.
Copyright Justin Gerges 2013
Narcissus
I'm scared of what your eyes have seen
But more scared of what your words mean
The picture u painted and the scene
And the lines drawn that u read between
The terms you use to define me
Have left me standing beside me
I wonder if you have known me
Or if Im the one hidden from me
I only know me through your eyes
And assume your words were not lies
But I'm certain that I'm cutting ties
Until I, myself, I do define
I then realized my eyes surprise
Seeing what my sight denies
But having the hope my heart supplies
Despite failures from numerous tries
I was not who you thought I'd be
Regardless of how hard I tried to be
So that you would like me
Or at least the me I appeared to be
I appeared perfect in every way
And crafted each word that I'd say
Yet all this to my dismay
He and I were not the same
I spent hours in reflection
My mind ran with clear direction
with the purpose of my own inspection
And my thoughts, their collection
Throughout all this you said of me
No one can love me as much as me
Forgetting all that I gave to thee
And knowing what was left of me
Silent, there I could not stand
Confused, broken, twisted and
Nothing ending as was planned
And now one thing I understand
All this time I spent on me
You spent in rage and jealousy
I know that now, I am free
To simply be who I am meant to be
Narcissus
Be careful which side of the story u read....
Copyright Justin Gerges 2013
But more scared of what your words mean
The picture u painted and the scene
And the lines drawn that u read between
The terms you use to define me
Have left me standing beside me
I wonder if you have known me
Or if Im the one hidden from me
I only know me through your eyes
And assume your words were not lies
But I'm certain that I'm cutting ties
Until I, myself, I do define
I then realized my eyes surprise
Seeing what my sight denies
But having the hope my heart supplies
Despite failures from numerous tries
I was not who you thought I'd be
Regardless of how hard I tried to be
So that you would like me
Or at least the me I appeared to be
I appeared perfect in every way
And crafted each word that I'd say
Yet all this to my dismay
He and I were not the same
I spent hours in reflection
My mind ran with clear direction
with the purpose of my own inspection
And my thoughts, their collection
Throughout all this you said of me
No one can love me as much as me
Forgetting all that I gave to thee
And knowing what was left of me
Silent, there I could not stand
Confused, broken, twisted and
Nothing ending as was planned
And now one thing I understand
All this time I spent on me
You spent in rage and jealousy
I know that now, I am free
To simply be who I am meant to be
Narcissus
Be careful which side of the story u read....
Copyright Justin Gerges 2013
Atlas
I pulled my world up a hill
And all the while, it stood still
I held it tight lest it fall
Nearing the peak, and seeing all
This simple task and it was mine
And to do it I was confined
Back and forth along that line
Progress never made in time
I looked down toward my worn hands
Trembling from the worlds demands
I heard the shouts but not of fans
But for integrity for which man stands
And all their eyes could not be seen
Their faces tired and not clean
As if they had what I had seen
And in being, went where I had been.
The fire in refinement, it had shown
And through its light, it made known
My hands were worn, worked to the bone
From this task I was left to alone
I took joy in this my punishment
And all my time in it I spent
To lift the world to where it does belong
Carried higher by the strong
On this task I spent night and day
Without someone my words to say
I held your world too in this same way
And never you knew my name
Atlas
Copyright Justin Gerges 2013
And all the while, it stood still
I held it tight lest it fall
Nearing the peak, and seeing all
This simple task and it was mine
And to do it I was confined
Back and forth along that line
Progress never made in time
I looked down toward my worn hands
Trembling from the worlds demands
I heard the shouts but not of fans
But for integrity for which man stands
And all their eyes could not be seen
Their faces tired and not clean
As if they had what I had seen
And in being, went where I had been.
The fire in refinement, it had shown
And through its light, it made known
My hands were worn, worked to the bone
From this task I was left to alone
I took joy in this my punishment
And all my time in it I spent
To lift the world to where it does belong
Carried higher by the strong
On this task I spent night and day
Without someone my words to say
I held your world too in this same way
And never you knew my name
Atlas
Copyright Justin Gerges 2013
The road to whole
His road to whole led him through hell.
On which he lost his soul as well.
He was not sure, but he could tell
That repeating sound was his own yell
He saw the light, but not of day
it led him right along his way
His way to where, he could not say
He knew that here he could not stay
His legs were weak, he could not stand
His body not meet it's demand
He was falling long, and would not land
Always searching for another's hand
The horizon line always in his eyes
And pursuant of it was his demise
He sought for truth among the lies
And deterred by them as passing flies
He walked it long and to his end
And water would not his thirst lend
Nor could food his hunger tend
He stood there broken beyond the bend
Beyond there is where he stood whole
Face to face with his old soul
Seeing in it the journey's toll
From every step along this stroll
Copyright Justin Gerges 2013
On which he lost his soul as well.
He was not sure, but he could tell
That repeating sound was his own yell
He saw the light, but not of day
it led him right along his way
His way to where, he could not say
He knew that here he could not stay
His legs were weak, he could not stand
His body not meet it's demand
He was falling long, and would not land
Always searching for another's hand
The horizon line always in his eyes
And pursuant of it was his demise
He sought for truth among the lies
And deterred by them as passing flies
He walked it long and to his end
And water would not his thirst lend
Nor could food his hunger tend
He stood there broken beyond the bend
Beyond there is where he stood whole
Face to face with his old soul
Seeing in it the journey's toll
From every step along this stroll
Copyright Justin Gerges 2013
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